i’m sitting here, waiting on medical transport to take Taylor and i up to Portland. i’ve been thinking that maybe Master and i need a break. No, not from being Master and slave but a break from being together almost 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Since Master opened his business last July, the only time we are apart is for the 9 hours a week Master is teaching class and when i am running errands or at the store. Honestly, the biggest reason for my writing this is because i’m having doubts. Doubt about me. Maybe i just need to have some time away to clear my head.
However, tonight, i did something i could never have imagined doing. i yelled at my Master and for that, i truly am sorry. i don’t apologize for the feelings that led me to yell, just the act of actually raising my voice. Master was very understanding and for that, i thank him.
It’s not like where i’m going is a vacation. i think spending several days in the hospital with your child while they run tests on her doesn’t count as fun times in anyone’s book. This excursion to the hospital has me wound just a little too tight.
Anyway, i’m sure Master will enjoy having the house to himself for several days. i wouldn’t say we will be using the time apart to recharge…he’ll be manning ‘Ye Olde Computer Repair Shoppe” without his office slave and i’ll be held hostage in a hospital room having to watch Blues Clues & Spongebob Squarepants. *funny how Word spell-check doesn’t like spongebob or squarepants*
Since Master opened his business last July, the only time we are apart is for the 9 hours a week Master is teaching class and when i am running errands or at the store. Honestly, the biggest reason for my writing this is because i’m having doubts. Doubt about me. Maybe i just need to have some time away to clear my head.
However, tonight, i did something i could never have imagined doing. i yelled at my Master and for that, i truly am sorry. i don’t apologize for the feelings that led me to yell, just the act of actually raising my voice. Master was very understanding and for that, i thank him.
It’s not like where i’m going is a vacation. i think spending several days in the hospital with your child while they run tests on her doesn’t count as fun times in anyone’s book. This excursion to the hospital has me wound just a little too tight.
Anyway, i’m sure Master will enjoy having the house to himself for several days. i wouldn’t say we will be using the time apart to recharge…he’ll be manning ‘Ye Olde Computer Repair Shoppe” without his office slave and i’ll be held hostage in a hospital room having to watch Blues Clues & Spongebob Squarepants. *funny how Word spell-check doesn’t like spongebob or squarepants*
5 comments:
In my life I'm learning not to second guess what I know is from gut instinct.
You are one of the wisest women I know and believe it or not..your dawnsense always makes sense to me and I am so grateful that I have had the pleasure of learning from you and what it truly means to be a committed 100% absolute slave.
hugs,
kathleen {SG}
I hope it goes well in hospital {{{Hugs}}}
Karen x
I forgot to mention I hope I get to talk to you this week...and you and Taylor are in my thoughts and prayers.
my dearest dawn, you have a lot on your mind and sometimes we just need to vent to someone we know is safe. Yes, He is your Master but He is also your safety net and an adult. There is no way to avoid it; you feel safe/secure and deep down you know He can handle it (maybe) better than anyone else in your life. Things always work in a pattern that goes up and down.
And don't forget we are all human. Realizing that a couple days away might do both of you some good. You get to go back to caring for the one person in your life that has always been your main priority. Its just her and really no one else this week. Every so often it helps to go back to familiar territory/stomping grounds. He understands.
you prepared and made sure things would be in order when you left.
It has made it amazingly easy to get through the day, because of your thoughtful work.
I know you must be going nuts there, ok, maybe not today, but in a couple days you will be ready to have those anal, I mean mental probes on you!!
I miss you,
Master
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