Changes

Somewhere along the way, my journal writing style has changed. i've always kept a personal journal, though never online. i looked forward to picking out a new journal after i had filled up an entire book. i loved how my handwriting looked different, depending upon my mood or emotional state. i will admit that, more often than not, my entries would be "negative" emotions…such as anger, sadness, loneliness, worry, and the like. i think it was a comfort thing. i could tell my journal those emotions that are hard to share with other people.

After i moved here, to be with Master, he decided that i should write every day and online. i will admit that i wasn't happy it about it. i just knew i would miss my special book. So, begrudgingly, i started writing online. i really didn't like it. i would try and avoid writing if i could. That didn't happen often because keeping the journal was something my Master wanted. i would complain that i really didn't have anything to say. He told me so what…write about your day if you have to, but write about something. i continued to write though not with the greatest of attitude.

Somewhere along the way, things changed. i wanted to write every day. i didn't care if it was some boring post, i still wrote. After several months, i became aware that i hadn't missed a day of writing in 6 months…then 10 months. i haven't missed a post since May of 2008. i'm not far from having an entire year of journal entries with no missed days. This became important to me. While i do want to hit that year mark, i really want to go all of 2009 without a single missed day.

It's amazing how things change.