It’s not been a very good day for me so far. i had to go pick Taylor up from school early because she was running a temperature. Because she has been sick for a couple of weeks now, i had to take her to see the doctor. He wanted to see her because she still isn’t any better after having been on 2 very strong antibiotics.
B is going through some things right now and sometimes the phone just isn’t enough. It’s really hard sometimes, to be a mom, and not be able to just hold your daughter and tell her it’s going to be okay. It’s not that i think i can “fix” my daughter’s problems nor would i even want to. i understand that everyone has to go through things in order to grow. However, i do know that it can be easier to go through difficult times when you can feel your mother’s arms around you.
i tried to convey that thought to my Master tonight, but it seems i failed to do that. i guess i had gotten used to the comforting words he would always offer me when i said “i wished i was there”. Tonight, when i said those words, i got something else from him and rightly or wrongly, i didn’t feel i should say anything else. Of course, that didn’t sit very well with my Master. That is how things are right now.
i have a sick Taylor, a B who is in the middle of a crisis and whose husband was throwing things when she hung up the phone with me, and Master and i aren’t really talking to each other beyond what is necessary. Fun times for dawn. i can’t even believe i’ve written down this journal entry. This is one that i would normally keep private even though i know my sisters/friends would completely understand. We are all human and we all have our rough times. Sometimes it helps to share the bad as well as all the good.
B is going through some things right now and sometimes the phone just isn’t enough. It’s really hard sometimes, to be a mom, and not be able to just hold your daughter and tell her it’s going to be okay. It’s not that i think i can “fix” my daughter’s problems nor would i even want to. i understand that everyone has to go through things in order to grow. However, i do know that it can be easier to go through difficult times when you can feel your mother’s arms around you.
i tried to convey that thought to my Master tonight, but it seems i failed to do that. i guess i had gotten used to the comforting words he would always offer me when i said “i wished i was there”. Tonight, when i said those words, i got something else from him and rightly or wrongly, i didn’t feel i should say anything else. Of course, that didn’t sit very well with my Master. That is how things are right now.
i have a sick Taylor, a B who is in the middle of a crisis and whose husband was throwing things when she hung up the phone with me, and Master and i aren’t really talking to each other beyond what is necessary. Fun times for dawn. i can’t even believe i’ve written down this journal entry. This is one that i would normally keep private even though i know my sisters/friends would completely understand. We are all human and we all have our rough times. Sometimes it helps to share the bad as well as all the good.
3 comments:
Shutting down in the middle of a converstaion where there is no yelling and just a discussion going on is a form of control.
The person doing it decides they are not going to say anything else. Body language and speech say everything in this case.
There was no reason for that to happen other than You felt it was time to stop talking.
It is over and done now. We move on.
Master
i hate when Master's are right because it usually makes me have to look at my own behavior; i don't like that.
Anyway, this is probably now consolation and already has been figured out by you but life is either you're going into a storm, in the middle of a storm, or coming out of a storm. As a friend of my Master's puts it tommorow will suck too just differently.
I can understand your wanting to hold your daughter while she cryed in your arms. That's one of our LIFE LONG jobs as a mom. I feel the same way towards my boys and they are grown men now. Especially Daniel who is 17 he lives 45 minutes from here but it has all the downfalls of being a thousand miles as I still don't get to see him in person. (would be a good topic for a blog)
I can only imagine how helpless you feel with Taylor being ill all the time because we do want to fix our children's boo boos but this is far graver a situation than that....Hold onto her smiles
As to your Master I think that part I said it all in the beginning of this comment :-(
hugs,
kathleen {SG}
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P.s. There is nothing wrong with being transparent and you did not say anything disrespectful...sometimes we need to talk to our friends even if it is through the written word of a blog
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