It’s been a rough couple of days with Taylor. She has had bigger and more frequent seizures in the last 2 days. Today was the worst day though, by far.
By this evening, she had had so many seizures that she was barely functioning. Master and i had her lay on the couch while we ate dinner, because it was just too scary to let her go in her room.
i can’t even begin to imagine what a seizure must feel like. i’m pretty sure i wouldn’t be able to handle what she does. It’s hard enough just to watch her have to go through them. If i thought the small hospital here in town could handle her, i would have taken her in this evening.
Sometimes, if they give her IV Ativan or Valium, it can reduce her seizure activity for awhile. i know that she will never be seizure-free, but it would be nice to have one whole day without a seizure.
By this evening, she had had so many seizures that she was barely functioning. Master and i had her lay on the couch while we ate dinner, because it was just too scary to let her go in her room.
i can’t even begin to imagine what a seizure must feel like. i’m pretty sure i wouldn’t be able to handle what she does. It’s hard enough just to watch her have to go through them. If i thought the small hospital here in town could handle her, i would have taken her in this evening.
Sometimes, if they give her IV Ativan or Valium, it can reduce her seizure activity for awhile. i know that she will never be seizure-free, but it would be nice to have one whole day without a seizure.
There are times when i just want to understand why she has to deal with all of this. It’s days like this that make me wish she were “normal”. i thought i had moved past those feelings a long time ago. However, when she has such a rough day, i can’t help but wonder why.
i know it’s pointless, but it doesn’t stop me from wishing…for her sake.
4 comments:
my sister among sisters,
It is hard to watch your child go through seizures or any medical problems. If you really want to know what they feel like, ask me and i can enlighten you. (you do not really want to know). And its ok to wish she were "normal" once in awhile. It is hard as a parent of a "special" child and we would be inhuman if we did not wish for the impossible once in a while.
i can never pretend to go through what you do on a daily basis, nor would i want too, but i am here as you know. And for some reason, unbeknown to you and everyone else in her world, you will never understand why the Lord above decided to bless you w/Taylor. But he has and he also has provided you w/a wonderful and supporting Master.
It is so difficult to watch her go through those, and just to see her trying to hold on and fight em.
The good thing is, that I am home now, so if anything happens, we can get her to a doctor or the urgent care much quicker.
I love you and Taylor.
Master
It is true the reason that Taylor has to endure so many seizures will probably never be known. All i know is that God gave mommy a very loving; supportive Daddy to take care of both her and Taylor; as mommy does to meet as many of Taylor's needs as possible.
hugs,
kathleen {SG}
Proud to be called doulos to
Jesus Christ and Sir Geoffrey
Just an after thought, it really is no accident that your Master is now working from His home full time; will be there if necessary for any problems that may arise. Also, Cruel Dark Knight is going to not only see more of you, but also He can enjoy more of His daughter; her smiles as well as the rest of all the good moments that take place in her day.
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