Priorities; something given special attention.
How do you determine what is a priority in your life? i’m sure that most everyone will list the usual things…family, work, fun. What about all the in-between variables?
If i’m sick and i don’t take care of myself, how do i take care of my family? Yeah, i know, i’m just full of questions lately. Today, Taylor was my priority…but then, i realized, she is and always will be my priority. She depends on me, and Master now, for everything in her life.
i stood there today, holding her hand, talking to her, wiping her tears while the doctor took a huge needle, stuck into her chest several times, while trying to start a central line…all so we could run a test showing that she doesn’t have any other congenital heart defects. i could tell that the doctor hated every minute of it as much as i did. He said it broke his heart to see her cry. But, that is his job. Mine is to keep her safe and to keep her out of pain. i couldn’t do that today.
i’ve been through so many different tests with her but this was the first time that i wanted to pass out. So, no more tests for a heart defect unless something else points in that direction. We just need to keep an eye out for any signs of infections because her heart valve is at risk. That’s all i can do…at least it’s all i know to do. i just don’t think i could handle another day like today. Her chest was being stuck with a needle and it was my heart that was hurting.
How do you determine what is a priority in your life? i’m sure that most everyone will list the usual things…family, work, fun. What about all the in-between variables?
If i’m sick and i don’t take care of myself, how do i take care of my family? Yeah, i know, i’m just full of questions lately. Today, Taylor was my priority…but then, i realized, she is and always will be my priority. She depends on me, and Master now, for everything in her life.
i stood there today, holding her hand, talking to her, wiping her tears while the doctor took a huge needle, stuck into her chest several times, while trying to start a central line…all so we could run a test showing that she doesn’t have any other congenital heart defects. i could tell that the doctor hated every minute of it as much as i did. He said it broke his heart to see her cry. But, that is his job. Mine is to keep her safe and to keep her out of pain. i couldn’t do that today.
i’ve been through so many different tests with her but this was the first time that i wanted to pass out. So, no more tests for a heart defect unless something else points in that direction. We just need to keep an eye out for any signs of infections because her heart valve is at risk. That’s all i can do…at least it’s all i know to do. i just don’t think i could handle another day like today. Her chest was being stuck with a needle and it was my heart that was hurting.
1 comments:
you are an unbelievable mother; all i can say other than that is i have great compassion for you as a mother and for Taylor enduring the testing. i wanted to cry for both of you while reading your blog.
big hugs,
kathy {SG}
Proud to be called doulos to
Jesus Christ and Sir Geoffrey
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